wow! i really fucking hate capitalism today

alternate title: mars is in aries, transiting my natal aries stellium and squaring my second house uranus, while mercury Rx completes the square in my 8H.


translation: i literally live to fuck with the dissonance of capitalism and i am especially not here for its bullshit today.




i hate feeling stressed out over a $5 monthly recurring charge that i can’t figure out how to cancel.

i hate spending hundreds each month on debt only to see my debt stay essentially the same.

i hate how capitalism tricks me into thinking i’m doing something right in the months where there are a few extra dollars, which inevitably leads to low self worth and self blame in the months where there aren’t.

similarly, i hate how capitalism convinces people who aren’t poor / when they aren’t poor that they’re more right / better / harder working / responsible / disciplined than those who are poor.

i hate that capitalism convinces people THAT they aren’t poor even when they are, ensuring that they keep hating on those poorer than them to feel secure.

i hate that i have been convinced of all these things too, at points in my life.

i hate that capitalism convinces us that financial wealth is the only respectable first priority as if those who prioritize spiritual, emotional, relational, physical, family, community, health are not deserving of having their basic needs met.

i hate how good capitalism is at gaslighting.

i hate the concept of charity. FUCK THAT. everyone deserves to have their basic needs met ALWAYS, not just when people with excess money feel like it.

i hate that our society makes it so hard for me to do the work that i feel most called to do - teaching, building community, facilitating healing practices - when it’s so clear that that is what is so needed.

i hate seeing other people compromise on their dreams to better play the game when their dreams are noble and the game is oppression.

i hate that even when we do make sacrifices to play the game better, we are still poor.

i hate how stressful it is to be poor.

i hate that SO MANY people have so much less privilege than i, making this white supremacist patriarchal oppressive system even harder to bear.

i hate that I know SO many people that hate capitalism too, but that we’re still stuck in this cycle of disempowerment.

more hate in the comments!

i hate that some people i know and love see me as lazy or irresponsible or unrealistic because capitalism has such a tight grip on them that they can’t see my work as valid because it doesn’t make me enough money to love or be okay with capitalism.

i hate seeing myself, my friends, my family, my partner, my community, my former students, my role models, A N Y O N E, and also nearly E V E R Y O N E, doubt their worthiness because capitalism brainwashes us into believing that it’s our fault we aren’t financially wealthy or stable.

i hate that i still get stuck in this loop of believing that if I just wait / meditate / manifest / get more disciplined / make more sacrifices / etc etc etc, then i wouldn’t have to feel this way / this hate anymore.

FUCK THAT. this isn’t about my spirituality or my discipline or my work ethic. this is about systemic oppression.

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© 2019 by Kelsey Rose Tortorice