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on hope [in the time of COVID]

this post was originally shared on social media on april 21, 2020.

i have been making a practice of noticing hopes. ones that have been explicitly stated, and also those that rest below the surface of a person’s actions or words.⁣ i witness myself becoming irritable, triggered by small hopes. hopes that i find to be besides the point. to be massively restricted by an entirely unnecessary authority that exists outside of the person speaking the hope. an authority that in no way values what is in the best interest of the person whose hopes they define. ⁣ to be clear, i’m speaking of hopes that in some way are for a “return to normal.” ⁣ and to be clear, i am not faulting any of us for the pieces of our old lives that we are grieving. parts of us will long for aspects of our old lives today and always. ⁣ i am reflecting on my visceral reaction to these small hopes.⁣ however. i am excited by new possibilities. i am excited by big thinking. i am aries and i am sagittarius. i am, for the most part, energized, grounded, and comfortable in this space. (i am also very privileged.) i am ready for what is next. i wince at the thought of going back to how things were. ⁣ a teaching from @paul.selig and his guides that i came across this week is, “we’re always claiming off the menu of what we think we’re allowed to have. and it’s a limited menu.”⁣ who is in charge of what menu has been offered to you? who gets to make the decisions around when that menu changes, is renewed, grows, is torn to pieces to be totally re-conceptualized? ⁣ what would your hopes for the future look like - for you, for humanity, for the earth - if you knew your basic needs would be met regardless of your level of conventional productivity? if you were never told a work week was 40 hrs? if weeks and weekends weren’t a thing? if you were taught from a young age that all people deserve a home, security, love, happiness?

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